Have you ever known someone who worked as a waitress? How about someone who worked as a music store clerk? What about a secretary, a security guard, or on a political PR team? Maybe a massage therapist, a speech teacher, a marketing associate, a vineyard worker, a tea house manager, or an entrepreneur? You can probably think of someone who has worked in one of these roles, but what about someone who has worked in all of them? Sound crazy?! Well, it’s not, because it’s me! I’ve worked in all of these roles and more!! I started my first part time job in a music store at the age of 15. My parents wanted me to develop a good work ethic and understand the importance of financial responsibility. I’ve worn a lot of hats over the years, some I loved and some I wasn’t so fond of. Each time I left a job, I was certain that the next one I tried would be the one I loved for the rest of my life…and every time, I was wrong. While some of these jobs played well into my natural abilities, none of them fully fulfilled the gift I was born with.
I discovered my love of and ease of public speaking at the ripe old age of 6 when I was cast as the Velveteen Rabbit in our local children’s theater play. I can still remember the feel of the cold, itchy pink paint on my nose. On my hands and knees (I was a bunny after all) sitting on that stage, a fire was lit in my soul. From that day on, that soul-fulfilling fire was only lit when I was on a stage in front of a crowd. In college, my passion for performing took me into public speaking and collegiate debate. Every time I stood to speak, my heart lit up and my soul knew THIS is what I was created for. Do you know what that feels like? What it feels like when you live in your gift? The crazy part is that even after all the years of feeling that fire, I somehow convinced myself that speaking wasn’t really a gift. That I wasn’t a good “enough” speaker, that I didn’t have “enough” education and that no one would care about what I spoke on.
That is the enemy’s way – to bring doubt, fear, and uncertainty into our gifts. He loves to make us question the value of our giftings, because we are most powerful when we are operating in our God designed gifts!
God in his infinite mercy and grace allowed me to explore other gifts only to continue bringing me back to what I was created for. I shared in an earlier blog post that God has really spoken to me the past couple of years about “enoughness”- the fact that He created me as enough to fulfill his every purpose in me. My gift to speak and write isn’t just something that I happen to be good at and therefore should use for his glory; I was created with these gifts on purpose! So I decided to stop turning my back on this gift. I stopped searching for a “better” gift and my soul has never felt more content. What about you? Are you living in your gift or are you searching for a “better” one?
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Hi! I'm Dezerai, a woman passionate about living in my purpose, about creating a life on purpose and about challenging you to do the same. I speak, I write, and I hang out with my husky and my handsome husband in the beautiful Napa Valley.